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My Background


One time I was at a dinner party and we were asked to go around the table and tell everyone one thing we were passionate about.  I kinda panicked!  I never really felt that I had a passion.  I did yoga, but I was far from disciplined.  I liked to travel, but that felt like a bonus in life, not a passion.  When it came to my turn, I was still thinking, and feeling very uninteresting.  A friend then shouted from across the table, “Arjan’s passion is Relationships.”   I wondered if that was really true.  It seems like such a broad topic.  I have come to realize, though, that my friend nailed it.  My life has been organized around experiencing as many types of friendships, communities, and romantic relationships as possible.  I hold a deep belief that it is only in relationship that we can truly see ourselves.  And romantic relationships are the most powerful accelerator for real growth and healing.


There is so much aliveness in our longing for genuine connection.  Bonding with another and staying grounded within ourselves is a skill that has not been valued or taught in our culture.  This lack causes so much confusion, loneliness, and codependency, and isolation in relationships.


I used to think that my Soulmate and I would journey through the healing process together.  There would be so much love we would heal our wounds.  Well, many romantic relationships, a divorce, and a death of a partner later, I see that the soul’s journey is indeed through the path of relationship, but EVERY relationship is an opportunity to connect the soul and heal.  I still long for a life partner but I also appreciate that all my relationships were successful because of the self awareness that took place.  Each time we become more self aware, the greater our capactiy is to attract a relationship that fulfills us.


My perspective is rooted in the fact that there is a universal drive to live a life full of meaning and connection.  I have witnessed this in my cultural studies and in my travels to  India, Spain, Guatemala,and Nepal.I have witnessed this in all my relationships.  So much learning and perspective opens up when we are challenged. . I have come to value Fierce Courage in myself and invite it in my clients. I have worked for 23 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist, and 11 years as a teacher at the Finger Lakes School of Massage. I also taught Kundalini yoga for several years.

Graduate of Coactive Training Institute’s Coactive 

   Leadership Experience Course 


Graduate of the Coactive Training Institute’s Life 

   Coaching Program and certification program


BA in Cultural Anthropology from SUNY Buffalo 


Certified Yoga Instructor from the Kundalini

   Research Institute


Graduate of the Finger Lakes School of Massage


Graduate of the IM School of Healing Arts

My Approach

I am committed to:

• Creating a safe and inviting dialoge

• Being curious and authentic

• Celebrating your successes and inviting you to learn from failures

• Offering insight

• Inviting new perspectives

• Sharing what I see

• Using our relationship to create an environment for intuition

  to flourish 

• Holding you accountable to live your life and your relationship in accordance with your most cherished values

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In addition to my professional endeavors I am a huge fan of music,  I have a 10 year old daughter who has given me a new experience of relationship to contemplate, and I maintain a yoga practice.  I really cherish the pleasures of being human- a good cup of coffee, a cashmere sweater, the smell of lavender-while also embracing our divine nature that transcends the reality we perceive.

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