"Well there's a wide wide world of noble causes and lovely landscapes to discover, but all I really want to do right now is find another lover." Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell's songs have always resonated with me when it comes to feelings about romance. Whether it's celebrating being single, experiencing heartbreak, yearning for new love, feeling indifferent, insecure, jealous, or adoring a partner, her lyrics cover the spectrum of love experiences. Her ability to express these emotions has helped me recognize the complexity of love stories. The particular lyric above has held special meaning for me, as it captures my tendency to believe that only romance can bring me fulfillment, despite the many other experiences life has to offer.
Many single individuals desire to be in a relationship, expressing feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and the ache of solitude. Additionally, there are many singles who secretly yearn for a relationship but are reluctant to acknowledge it. There appears to be a sense of embarrassment in admitting the desire for something that is currently lacking. I think it's important to embrace our desire for love while also creating a fulfilling life as someone who is single.
One way to do this is to expand our perspective of a love story. A love story is usually considered to start when two people meet and end when there is a break up. Let's take a look at a love story through a different lens? What if our love story begins when we first find ourselves longing for love and doesn't end until we die? What if our love story is less about another person and more about what we learn as a result of loving and being loved? What if it's less about falling for someone as it is continuing to work on ourself so we fall more and more in love with ourselves? What if its about how our heart gets stretched more each time it's broken? What if our times being single are integral chapters in our love story?
Embracing singleness can allow for character development! It lets us to delve into self-discovery that is different from when we are in a relationship. While it may sometimes feel isolating, the independence it brings opens doors for growth and exploration. The solo journey often introduces new characters into our love narrative, contributing to our development and broadening our perspective.
By utilizing our time as single individuals to enhance ourselves, we cultivate anticipation for future relationships. Maintaining the vision of love and companionship, we strive to become more complete individuals. Engaging in creative activities, exploring our identity, and understanding our needs for love through coaching, therapy, or self-reflection help us grow. These endeavors not only add value to our lives as singles but also establish a solid groundwork for a fulfilling relationship. Our desire and longing for love becomes our companion. If you are single, connect with your longing to be in partnership.
Next time you are on your yoga mat, dedicate your practice to your next love. Next time you raise a glass with a friend, toast to the next chapter of your love story. When you look in the mirror, give yourself the compliment you'd want from a partner, then send a little prayer that you find someone who speaks your love language. Buy flowers for your new love, even if s/he isn't in your life yet.
  In essence, being single and being in a loving relationship can be appreciated different seasons in the wheel of the year. Embrace it all. Radiate love. Bask in romance, even if you are alone.
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